Missing

My beloved husband, Rabbi Burt Jacobson, passed away on June 22, 2024. Grief is a tricky and mysterious process, almost, but not quite as mysterious as death itself. A poem emerged today.

​Missing
 
Alone
in a house
full of you
your shoe
your coffee cup
lift me up
over the lip
of the deep
deep well
of wail
tears that
tear the heart
apart.
 
Down I fall.
“He’s in a
better place”
they said.
You’re not--
though I am
glad you are
no longer
trapped
in that
cramped and
narrow bed.
 
But no,
I say,
the best is 
here
where touch
and smell
conspire
to light
a fire,
and all
the wrangle
and murk
of night
fall away
in the light
of day,
where heat
meets cold
and we
grow old.
 
Where did you 
go?
Breathed back
into the womb
of earth--
birth
in reverse.
Leaving
a dearth
of you,
an empty
place
a gaping
space
where once
you sat
and ate
and laughed.
 
Miraculous
how in the
midst of woe
pain falls
like rain
and makes
love’s garden
grow.
     ––Diane Elliot